Today is the first day of winter in the northern hemisphere,
and it is longer than yesterday.
BUZZKILL ALERT – THIS IS NOT A HAPPY STORY.
Not warm fuzzies, but something we may wish to remember
in this season of high expectations and harsh realities:
I’m thinking about laying down the hurts I tend to carry around now.
I have found a few quotes that are helping me to form my thoughts on vengeance and forgiveness, in roughly chronologic order:
A man that studieth revenge keeps his own wounds green. (Francis Bacon, Essays)
Murder’s out of tune, And sweet revenge grows harsh. (William Shakespeare, Othello)
An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. (attributed to Mahatma Gandhi)
Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for it to kill your enemy. (Nelson Mandela)
The man who seeks revenge digs two graves. (Ken Kesey, Sometimes a Great Notion)
Retribution often means that we eventually do to ourselves what we have done unto others. (Eric Hoffer)
The best manner of avenging ourselves is by not resembling him who has injured us. (Jane Porter)
I watch you ride by and envy you the thrill
yet if I could knock you out of that saddle
still I would not.
You grip the rope;
your hand is white with wrapped windings
binding you to the arching, heaving flame.
You breathe long and steady through clenched teeth.
In tense smile density
Choked to thicken the mix
throttled to endure.
Then back to idle when the heat arrives.
I have no license, don’t even know the gears.
I have felt that mane, those flanks
Ride on, and may you never fall
though this iron horse can never be tamed.
Why these tears, this ache in my throat?
How can a dawn I have so long yearned for
Find me not surprised yet unbelieving?
How can I, who have always been too hard
Too quick to batter down the gate
Stand now amid the rushing throng
And beg another moment to prepare?
Is it that I finally see
How dawn leads to day leads to dusk
And in this creeping twilight sense a rushing night?
Do I finally face the rise of a blackened moon
on a bone-white landscape?
A scene I never comprehended,
Yet now I must claim that dark moon as my own.
Mortality has grown taller while I slept
And now I fear to sleep again that I may not wake.
Sleep was my desire until I waked to you.
Knowing you has brought my mortality full before my face
Because you are the essence of life to me
So full and fine and fair
So dark and taut and true
So much older and younger than me
So much a mirror against which I press
Fearing shards of broken glass
Yet weeping to melt and meld with you
Dissolve with you in these flowing tears
I love you. I fear you.
I lust for you. I die in you.
I lie beneath your moist, green turf
And pray your roots to penetrate my skin
And suck me in
To a new life as your leaf.